5 Ways To Bring Calm To The Chaos

It’s 2021, and life is chaotic. Then add to the usual chaos a pandemic, social distancing, a child or three, having to work from home, adapting to a new normal. We do not know which way to turn. During this highly charged period, we need to do all we can to calm the chaos – for ourselves, our children, for the world. 

Here are five simple ways to create more calm.

Get honest about what feels chaotic.

We are so busy trying to juggle all of life’s balls that very often, we live on auto-pilot. We don’t stop long enough to take stock or think about what is working and what isn’t. 

So STOP!! Grab a pen, notebook and a cuppa and sit down. Write down all of the situations that trigger you into feeling chaotic, overwhelmed and out of control. Is it bath time, dinner time and bedtime with the children? Is it navigating your way through the morning traffic? Is it when you have to have a conference call, and you know that your children are climbing the walls? Is it the pressure you feel to work, be a wife, mother, and run the household? Is it household chores like dishes and laundry? Or is it life admin like groceries and household maintenance?

We have all heard the definition of insanity; is to keep doing the same thing whilst expecting a different outcome”. There can only be change if you create change.

I say this over and over again. Change starts with awareness. If you have identified the situations that you find particularly stressful and chaotic, you can develop ways to make them more manageable. Can you prepare meals ahead of time? Can you involve the kids in the cooking process so they aren’t running riot elsewhere whilst you’re in the kitchen? Can your partner do the dishes every night or take over grocery shopping? Is there a friend or family member you could call on to help once or twice a week? 

Get creative. I really believe that there are always solutions; sometimes, it just requires a little creative thinking. 

Change the environment

When things begin feeling out of control, stop and take stock of the energy your immediate environment holds. It is cluttered, is the TV blaring, is the open-plan office that you are working in feeling too loud or too busy? The physical space we find ourselves in plays a significant role in how we feel and is often something we can address straight away. Our home is where we should feel most at ease, so I always recommend starting there. Pick some flowers and put them around the house, light candles, and play some music. De-clutter and re-organise. Paint the walls a more tranquil colour. Change up the photographs on the wall. Don’t underestimate how significant these small changes will be in bringing calm to the chaos. 

Check-in and Breath 

Sounds obvious, right? Well, it isn’t! When we’re caught up in trying to get through each day, we OFTEN forget to breathe. What is the first thing a smoker does when things get stressful or out of control? They smoke! Sure, there is an addictive and comforting element to this, but studies have found that part of what makes smoking soothing in those moments of stress are the slow and steady deep breaths. 

Studies also tell us that individuals who are functioning in a state of high stress (or chaos) don’t breathe as deeply as individuals who are in a state of calm. 

The bonus? You take your breath wherever you go. When you feel the tension building and things becoming increasingly chaotic, stop and breathe! Close your eyes, and take ten slow and steady deep breaths. Imagine yourself inhaling the calm and exhaling the chaos. Use your moments of breath to also check in with your senses. What do you hear? What do you feel? What do you see? What do you taste? What do you smell? How are these things making you feel? This exercise brings you back into the moment and grounds you.

Embrace play

Seriously, we are far too serious! We are so sucked into “adulting” and “doing” that we forget to play, laugh, and dance. This is also a simple one, but it is so powerful in creating a sense of calm when things get chaotic. Once again, keep tabs on yourself, and when the tension starts building, lighten the mood with some play. This can be putting on music and having a dance party in the lounge, blowing and chasing bubbles in the garden with your children, having a picnic dinner., or playing an old school card game. Part of this thinking is accepting that life can sometimes be chaotic, but there is still so much fun to be had if you CHOOSE to have it. Calling on your inner child to come and out and play will leave you feeling more energised and productive, and the tasks at hand will feel much more manageable.

Connect

We live in an age where we are more connected than ever, yet we feel more isolated and disconnected than ever before. Feeling isolated and disconnected in itself can make life feel more overwhelming and chaotic. So many of us have fallen into the trap of using the little energy that we have leftover after a day of adulting and mothering to engage in things that are ultimately not very meaningful at all. Sure, it’s nice to see what your friends are up to, but seeing yet another funny meme or deep and meaningful quote on your Facebook newsfeed is not going to make you feel any better about life. Make the conscious decision to engage and connect with friends and family. When you feel overwhelmed and stretched, sit down with a cup of tea and have a meaningful conversation with your partner. When your little people are feeling anxious, sit with them on the grass and talk it out. If you happen to be alone, then have a long bath and simply connect with yourself.  

We crave connection, and digital connection is never going to bring what real connection does. I can guarantee you that when you take the time to connect, the chaos will dilute. 

Finally, remember, the dishes can wait!!